I compared you to a sun.

The sun is a star

And just like those balls of flame

It started out small, but only with my vision.

For I was once far away

And your light was a pinpoint.

Do you remember?

You were the only star in the sky.

Faint, solitary

With nothing but darkness surrounding you.

That’s all my weary eyes could see – darkness.

But in the middle was a tiny light,

For I saw you from afar.

I know not how, but I found the courage.

I drew nigh.

The light grew,

Illuminating my life,

Revealing a spectrum of colors

That had never before existed.

The colors were your different shades,

The separate facets of your soul.

Anyone could see them, even with a chasm of distance between they and you.

But I drew nigh.

And your colors – a supernova.

From that first letter, scribed by my trembling hand,

A slab of volcanic rock struck my visage.

And I remembered.

Recalled my life, 19 months before.

You were there – a taste

A preview

A preclude

A preface to my life.

I wanted it back.

It was time to commence the novel.

The pages – you provided fresh ink

To the wasteland of my life.

“Are you sure,” you wrote in reply,

“That no one other is in your mind?”

I pondered for a moment

A slice of eternity. 

And realized – I realized YOU.

There was no other

Your presence made that clear.

And though you may not believe

And may not comprehend,

I knew, even then

That I wanted to drown in your light

My entire life.

Even as a child

Even as a nihilist

I knew you weren’t just a girl.

I fell in love with you, then and there.

But then you said “yes”

And my world was unmade.

We stood

And, strangely, you hit me.

Dazed, I watched your laughter.

So palpable

So real.

And even through the pain

The pain of your attack,

I said 

“This one is the one. I finally have her back.”

With what can I compare you?

Does the sun possess your grace?

Your humors, your nuances, your gentle whispering?

Yes, I hear your faint whisper whenever Sol rises.

But its light is too dim.

You, my love–your light brings existence into focus

And by your rays, I have cast a shadow.

A specter, a wraith

Full of selfishness and hate.

But no more.

I will stand, aligned with your rays

Directly beneath.

And I shall cast a shadow

No more.

 

The Face

Posted: May 2, 2017 in blog, Haiku, poetry
Tags: , , , ,

Eyes, supernovas

Lips pour knowledge like the seas

Countenance, so bright 
Hair like the forests

An intricate web of life

We want to get lost
Hands that hold mountains

Arms outsretching all towers

Feet rest on the earth
Descriptions, lacking

You are more than all of this

Cosmos can’t contain



​​​​​​​​

I feel a draining

Like the air lost its content

Empty places, drawn out spaces

And all desire is wanton

 

Me alone, this empty creature

Fell into the sea (of fire)

Deviations, obligations

And who I’m supposed to be (desire)

 

Too much time dreaming

Insufficient action

But if we roll up our sleeves

Will we be rolling up our hearts?

 

Depends on how we wear them

Curled up inside with pink little bows?

Or open and bare, ready to be unwrapped?

We are the vulnerable

 

I’ve decided to risk it

Does this action come from courage?

No, I tell you

I’m just a bored nihilist

 

Ready and willing, come tear me down

Take a look, then tell of what you’ve found

Spin out the twine, unravel the soul

Both order and chaos, my friend and my foe

 

Please just let me feel something

On this swiftly passing day

Then I’ll die and then I’ll rest

After I’ve found my way

 

 


Poison the dropper

Soften the skin

Lean your head back

And take it in
Venom, merci

It’s pumping through our arteries

There certainly is a lot of it

Coursing through me
Chemical rage, chemical failure

It’s everywhere! It’s everywhere! 

Will someone find an antidote?

I’m getting really scared 
The toxins take many forms

They’re chameleonic that way 

Anger, sadness, failure, fate

Can we keep all the demons at bay? 
Society condemned

Afraid to go in, afraid to go out

Saying too much or too little

For fear of what others may say
Bomb out, rebirth

Prep me up for the hearse

Evil belly, wide girth

At least it could be worse
But could it? 

Is it really not so bad?

Can we really find a cure? 

Reclaim the love we all once had? 
There really is no cure

Only a constant treatment

Love and laughter pure

Our new souls, condition mint.


Alien: Covenant (second trailer)
These films are my favorite. No question. So much so that when I saw the first Red Band trailer released for this prequel back in December, I actually cried. I really did.

But this NEW trailer that streamed a couple of hours ago….I’ll get to that in a minute

It seems these days that Hollywood is running out of ideas, so they have to bring the old stuff back and “update” it. Power Rangers. Godzilla. Jurassic World. The recent Pokémon Go craze (yeah, not Hollywood, but nostalgic as hell). Star Wars. Star Trek. Every superhero movie. I could go on.

Though I think that the big Wig Hollywood types are simply paying and pushing for creators to put a new spin on old ideas that we loved in our childhood, and that it’s just all about money and commercialism, I just can’t help but get excited every time one of them is released into theaters. I feel like a kid again. 

But Alien? 
That’s a different beast entirely. 

Prometheus was great, but it’s major flaw (other than the mis-mashed ideas and not enough development) was that it was an Alien prequel without the titular xenomorph, the species known as Internecivus raptus. Anchorpoint Essays (Probably my favorite web site of all time…everything you wanna know about xenomorph biology)

Covenant, however, seems to have fixed that problem. And the new trailer is glorious proof.

The damn movie is intense, well directed, full of suspense…and yes, I’m talking about a movie before I’ve even seen it, and trailers can show you the best parts of a film that eventually lets you down…but that won’t be the case with Covenant. Trust me. 

Just look at that godamned xenomorph.


Poetic sky

That’s what I find.

Sifting through shit

Chaos of mind.

Signs, protests, imbalanced status quo

They all need a cause, but they don’t even know

If you say that souls are different

you’re condemned as “pro hate”

Till we’re left with no uniqueness

With no defining traits

So full of lies

People of earth

I’m worst of all

Why even try?

Hate, empty, nothing worth the effort 

That’s what these nihilists would have us believe

Pandering to ignorant masses

Till we feel as bereaved as Jackie Onassis 

Celebrities

Whom we worship

Told we’re nothing

What we SHOULD be

Make us a sex tape, sell us some clothes

Gotta sing, gotta dance, auto tune your soul

Our kids feel like nothing without fame

So they hurt themselves and others like it’s all just game

This is my poetic sky

This is what I always find

In the world and in the screens

within myself, so break the seams

The terrified scientist wanted to speak, wanted to move, wanted to do SOMETHING, but he was utterly paralyzed. He didn’t know if it was due either to sheer terror or to Patient Y’s incredible mind powers, but it didn’t matter. He was alone with the boy, and he knew his life was about to end.

“Didn’t you hear me, Mora?” Asked the boy with a wicked smile. “I want to go outside.”

“How…how…” 

Oh, so you can talk. That’s good. That’s Excellent. Now you can tell those guards to back off.”

On cue, the door behind Dr. Mora began to resound with the frantic pounding of fists upon its glass. There were a dozen men outside, 3 of whom were armed with the electro-magnetic guns, but they couldn’t get in – the passcode wouldn’t open the door no matter how many times they typed it in. 

“I can kill them all, doctor,” Patient Y said dryly. “But I’d rather not. All I want is to go outside.”

“You…” choked Mora. “You…you…”

“Spit it out, Mora!”

Patient Y’s creator, his “father”, knew that Y could have easily made short work of the entire facility by now, but he was dumbfounded as to why the boy had not. Mora was being kept alive for some reason, and though it didn’t totally allay his fears, it at least gave him the courage to speak, though falteringly, to his creation.

“You want to leave the facility? Where will you go?”

Y laughed. “I didn’t say I wanted to leave, my Dear doctor. I only said I wanted to go outside for a while. You know, soak up the sun a bit. Then I’ll come back and be a good little guinea pig. But you…you’re gonna be with me every step of the way, and I need to know I can trust you.”

Mora began to open his mouth as tears cascaded down his face, but he once again couldn’t make any words leave his throat.

“Something you wanna say, doctor?”

“Can’t…cant you just read my thoughts? You’ll know you can trust me then. I’ll cooperate, I promise.”

Patient Y cocked his still bleeding head to the side, not even bothering to wipe the red liquid from his eyes. 

“Yes…yes, I do believe I can, doctor.”

The guards continued to pound on the door.

“Make them leave, Mora.”

Dr. Mora pulled the radio from his pocket and looked at the guards as he began to speak into it. 

“Everybody, out. Don’t follow us. It’s…it’s under control. We…”

“Wait,” said the Patient. “First, we have to take care of those guns. Those are the last three in the building, right? Last ones in the world?”

Mora nodded his head in defeat and began speaking again.

“Get rid of those guns.”

“No,” shot Y sharply. “I have something else in mind.”

“Don’t hurt them, Y, please…”

“Don’t call me that. Don’t ever call me that again. You call me, Masuta, do you understand?”

The Japanese word for “master”. Mora shuddered and looked back at the guards, only to witness a horrific event. The three armed guards pressed the barrels of their weapons under their own chins and fired simultaneously. The guns, the only three weapons on the planet that could be used to stop the Patient, were now spent and useless. Mora and the other guards realized this…and they all screamed.

“Run!” The scientist shouted into his radio.

Most of them had already taken off before Mora even had the chance to shout. Now, the man was alone with his creation, most likely soon to be the only man left in the whole facility. 

“Damn,” laughed Patient Y, “those guns must be expensive. Only had five of ’em in this whole place, huh?”

“You said you wouldn’t hurt them, Y…”

“What did you say?” Growled the Patient in an inhuman, demonic sounding voice. “What did you call me?”

Mora was frozen in place once again. The intimidation, the power, the sheer evil of this boy – it was all too much to handle. 

“Say it. Say my new name.”

“M…M…Masuta.”

“That’s right. And I didn’t hurt them. They killed themselves. Either way, most of them are still alive. I don’t want to kill, doctor. I really don’t. But you gave me the power. And all life will do whatever it takes to protect itself. Now…let’s go outside.”

The door opened, making an entrance into the world for its possible destroyer. 

Several minutes later, Mora and his patient had made their way outside the facility. There had been no one in or around the building. Everyone knew that Y was now unstoppable. Mora began to think hopeful thoughts about the military, about atomic weapons, but he was trying as hard as possible to keep his mind closed to Patient Y. He failed.

“An A-bomb?” Laughed the Patient. “Really? You hope an entire city gets destroyed just to wipe me out? That’s murder, sir.”

“You’re a murderer!” Said Mora, surprised by his own courage. 

Patient Y put his face inches away from the doctor and smiled widely.

“You’re in no position to say anything about morality, Mora. Now, shut up and let me enjoy this weather.”

A light breeze passed over them as Y looked up at the blue sky. Birds singing. Bright sunlight. 

The perfect day for the end of the world.

“Okay,” sighed Patient Y. “That’s enough for today. Let’s go back inside.”

Mora was confused. 

“What was the point of all this?” He asked.

“I told you,” answered Y, “I just wanted to go outside for a while. And now, I’m going back inside. I’m a man of my word. Except…”

“What?”

“I’m done with the whole ‘guinea pig’ thing, on second thought.”

Everything went black for Dr. Mora.
………….………………………………………….:….
“Dr. Masuta? It’s been three weeks since the escape, and Patient Y still hasn’t shown any special brain activity.”

Masuta, a teenager with no scalp, looked up from his desk at the man who addressed him.

“Yes, I know,” said Masuta with (what sounded like) a heavy heart. “Maybe the outside world was just too much for him. The sights, sounds, smells…all that stimuli may have shut down his special brain functions after nearly two decades spent in a room.”

“It certainly looks that way,” said the other scientist. “It’s very unfortunate. Everything’s unfortunate. The escape, the deaths of the guards who caught him…Doctor Mora…”

“From what I’m told, he was a good man.”

“He was a visionary, Dr. Masuta. He started the whole project. But now, it looks as though it’s time for termination. It’s too bad…you’ve been excellent as our new head of research. I’m sorry you didn’t have more to work with…Patient Y was really something.”

“And you’re sure he’s not anymore?” Asked Masuta with a raised eyebrow. “I mean, has the helmet registered anything extraordinary? Even a flicker?”

The other scientist shook his head.

“Damn. Well, what about his behavior?”

“Still volatile. All he does is scream and tell us that he’s not who we think he is.”

Masuta bore an expression of disappointment and curiosity upon his face…well, at least upon the face that he wore…the one everyone else could see…the clean cut, well manicured face of an academic in his 50s…not his TRUE face. 

“Does he still say he’s really Dr. Mora?”

“Yes. And we don’t know why. All that energy built up in his neural tissue for so long seems to have finally broken him. Delusional, psychotic…he really did hold promise at one time. You should have seen it.”

Dr. Masuta smiled.

“So,” continued the other man, “what are your orders?”

“Termination, of course. Then, start work on another.”

“What are we gonna call this one,” chuckled the man. “Patient Z?”

“No, no, no,” laughed Masuta. “We’ll give this one an actual name…and we’re going to treat her like a person, not an experiment.”

The other scientist frowned in confusion.

“Her? You want it to be female?”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, no, of course not. You’re the boss. I mean, I know the gender doesn’t really make a difference for the end result of this project…but can I ask why? Just out of curiosity?”

Dr. Masuta stood up and gestured towards the door with his arm. 

“Get started,” he said.

“Yes, sir.”

A few seconds later, Dr. Masuta, now alone in the control room, typed a few keys into his computer and pulled up an image on his screen. A hospital bed. A dreary cell. Walls covered with intricate sketches and formulas. And amidst all of this, a man running around in circles with a helmet on his head. A man who looked for all the world like Patient Y…to most people. Normal minds…feeble minds saw what they expected to see. 

But not Masuta. He saw Dr. Mora in that cell. 

“Help!” Screamed the captive scientist. “I’m not Patient Y! I’m not Patient Y! It’s Masuta! He’s the one! Please! I’m Dr. Mora! PLEEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE!!!!!!!”

We can do it

Open sky, adamantine heart

Was tattered yesterday

Sinking in the grime

But we pulled ourselves up

Aggrandizing effort

The wraiths of yesterday,

Our ankles released

Can’t you see? Can’t you believe?

Don’t let them have control 

Our self serving souls

Egotistic impulse

I can do it

Awakening regeneration

Focus on the sky

Arise, make new creations