I see the spiders before you do
For they are my brethren
My small, ugly countrymen who scurry in the dark
Just like the insects
The flies
The bacteria, contaminating nothing but my mind
I think it’s on everything
Cracks
River bed veins
Petrol, oatmeal, vitamin E
Boils of pus, infected
Look how clean I am
The sink
The tub
My altars to the clean
Where I scrub the day’s success away
Mere failure lies beneath
Maybe it’s just…ME who is filthy
Wash my self off myself
Gaze into my mind
Don’t worry, this abyss is too drunk to stare back
Inebriated, toxic
Like how I relate with all my loves
Psychotic–how I’m to be
Always at the floor on bended knee
I should love my Master
Rather, I grovel at His feet
I’ve washed my fingers
I’ve washed and I’ve prayed seven times today
Hoping my loves will perish not
Lecherous crisis – come see what I’ve wrought
Scar tissue, with bruises
Marks on a shattered mirror
It was a smudge to begin with
Smeared with the weakness of weakness
So soft…
Perhaps another pill will help
A capsule, sublingual
Washed down with inverted ambrosia
Oh, no
You’ve hurt your loves again
Cease! No more talking to yourself
Talk to the Answer instead
I’ve cast this shadow all on my own
Please, lift away the darkness
Yellow star at dawn
Brighter…
Brighter
