Archive for the ‘life’ Category

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I’m done with this hiatus
This hiatus, it made my heart burn
No, Not the acidic esophagus
I could handle that

But it burns from being….
Lonesome
More lacunal than alive
The throbs were empty
Pulses of creative energy
That needed to be shared
Lucky seven? I don’t care

Because you are all in need
In fact, you desperately REQUIRE
A dash of venom, a cup of honesty
And a teaspoon of regret.

Don’t you worry, baby
I’ll give you hope as well
But you better take the salt
‘Fore I give you any sugar

Want some vinegar?
Some honey?

Too bad.

Blood is the thickest of rivers
Take this flow before you take the rest

Cream
Cotton
Sugar
No baby, take this negativity

For how can you be happy?
If you weren’t at first depressed
At the Genesis

I’ll save you if you’ll take it
Not sorry that I made it

I’ll fill your lungs with ecstasy
Come be with me, there’s nowhere else to be

This body…
This skin upon my outsides
It aches, it pains
It makes me think I wanna die

But fuck it.
It’s phantasmal anyway.

This soul…
This ghost….
More solid….
Than our flesh

Fuck this fucking scarecrow

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I asked for your hand

There was no hesitation

Such amazement, volition

You were ready to be consumed

As I had been for nigh a year

I, prostrate upon my knees

Looked upon your countenance

And witnessed a smile

A twinkle, etched upon my soul to this very day

She loved me

She owned me

“What was the reason?” You may ask

“Why did you ask?”

“I couldn’t wait, my baby girl.”

That sweet Kailey Cup

Was MY girl 

She remains, to this day

Every morning – 

“I’d like a cup of Kailey.”

We drove through the country

An Angel sat beside me

Such a lovely joy.
Through the neighborhoods

Country lights, so beautiful

Christmas was daily
There the Angel goes

I’ll stop her in the hallway

“I love you, baby”

“Come and stay the night”

“Can I live with you, boyfriend?”

“Very soon, my love”

“Why don’t you believe?”

“I’ve never had a reason”

“Well, what of me?”
My faith was renewed

Never would have happened

If not for you 

I compared you to a sun.

The sun is a star

And just like those balls of flame

It started out small, but only with my vision.

For I was once far away

And your light was a pinpoint.

Do you remember?

You were the only star in the sky.

Faint, solitary

With nothing but darkness surrounding you.

That’s all my weary eyes could see – darkness.

But in the middle was a tiny light,

For I saw you from afar.

I know not how, but I found the courage.

I drew nigh.

The light grew,

Illuminating my life,

Revealing a spectrum of colors

That had never before existed.

The colors were your different shades,

The separate facets of your soul.

Anyone could see them, even with a chasm of distance between they and you.

But I drew nigh.

And your colors – a supernova.

From that first letter, scribed by my trembling hand,

A slab of volcanic rock struck my visage.

And I remembered.

Recalled my life, 19 months before.

You were there – a taste

A preview

A preclude

A preface to my life.

I wanted it back.

It was time to commence the novel.

The pages – you provided fresh ink

To the wasteland of my life.

“Are you sure,” you wrote in reply,

“That no one other is in your mind?”

I pondered for a moment

A slice of eternity. 

And realized – I realized YOU.

There was no other

Your presence made that clear.

And though you may not believe

And may not comprehend,

I knew, even then

That I wanted to drown in your light

My entire life.

Even as a child

Even as a nihilist

I knew you weren’t just a girl.

I fell in love with you, then and there.

But then you said “yes”

And my world was unmade.

We stood

And, strangely, you hit me.

Dazed, I watched your laughter.

So palpable

So real.

And even through the pain

The pain of your attack,

I said 

“This one is the one. I finally have her back.”

We can do it

Open sky, adamantine heart

Was tattered yesterday

Sinking in the grime

But we pulled ourselves up

Aggrandizing effort

The wraiths of yesterday,

Our ankles released

Can’t you see? Can’t you believe?

Don’t let them have control 

Our self serving souls

Egotistic impulse

I can do it

Awakening regeneration

Focus on the sky

Arise, make new creations 

Immaculate sunshine Fantastical sky

Are the answers in reach

Or is life unattainable
I mean our FULL life

Unclouded by doubt

Untouched by shame

Embrace the love of fate

For joy is our aim
It’s a beautiful life 

Impeccable day

Can we forget the hate 

Or is peace unachievable
I for one believe

Unwavering faith

Unashamed hope

Will be with us to save 

And help us to cope 

It’s chased me for a long time now, me and my family. None of us ran at first. We were curious. We wanted to see if it could give us the things we craved. Pleasure, security, excitement, confidence – and the beast did actually hold up on his promise. For a while.

But then, those things it gave us began to diminish, and it gave us new things instead.

Despair. Anguish. Fear.

We did run then. And, I’m not sure how I feel about this, but I ran the fastest. I had a second family now, and I didn’t want the beast to chase them too. I’m overjoyed that I’ve outrun it for the past few years, but I am also crushed over the fact that some of my loves aren’t running fast enough. 

I’d do anything to change this. I’ve ever prayed, quite irrationally, for my happiness to be taken away and given to them. But I don’t think a prayer like that is really a solution.

The best and only thing I can do is keep running and pray my loves catch up. I feel like I’ve escaped most of the time, and I have, in a way, for I don’t let the demon touch me anymore.

But sometimes I feel his harsh breath on my neck and shoulders, and I have to run even harder. I’m always running, even when people think that I’m not. 

Even when they’re proud.
(Can anyone guess what this is about?) 

Cascading, torrential turbulenceLike the drowning of fireflies.

Blips of illumination,

Swallowed by the waves

and followed by lacunae
All the pulsars and nebulae,

They all fade out, and so shall I.

But what comes in the after?

A cliched sea of empty?

Meeting all the fireflies?
Dubious in all our expressions,

In all our children of the soul.

These are our works of art

Attempting conveyance and control
But we’ll never understand the spirit

Not it’s heights, nor its limits.

But, incessantly, we’ll attempt:
Loving ’till the end is nigh

Making ’till our bodies die.

Will we fade like the firefly?

No.

Finality is a lie. 

Only one bite. Then, the morals fled away.

After a mere bite, she slept without dreaming, lived without breathing, and sinned without grieving. Just like the mythical Eve, she tasted something that looked sweet from afar but turned bitter once digested by the soul. The serpent in this case – the reason she was tempted, at least in her mind – was her husband. He had been the cause of this. It was all his fault.

After a few months of constant criticism, joyless celibacy, and a bad habit with the bottle, her husband had finally given her the temptation that she had actually possessed all along. The temptation to chase another.

She didn’t remember much of the first night, other than the fact that she was filled with intense desire. At least until the alcohol took effect. Then, it was more about the death of brain cells than anything else.

After she awakened in his apartment, she found a plate of eggs on the nightstand with a note beside it.

“Had to go to work. Enjoy your breakfast, beautiful.”

How could she have been so stupid? Hooking up and spending the night with a total stranger from a bar?

Still…the man seemed to care about her. He was sweet, much sweeter than a regular one nighter would have been.

It took her a while to register the facts, but she eventually realized that this was going to be a continuous thing.

There was no guilt yet. That would come later, along with the debauchery.

About a week ago, I logged into my wordpress. It wasn’t a busy day for me – work was over and my wife and daughter were at my mother in law’s house, so I had a free day to check my stuff and read as many blog posts as I could. I didn’t expect anything special to be on there specifically about my own blog (though I did expect, as I always do, to read fascinating posts made by those I follow), for I hadn’t made a new post in like two weeks.

But something cool was about to happen.

My good ol’ blog pal, piezoradeon(The Enthralled Cloud of Thought) nominated me for a blogger’s recognition award. Now, I’ve only had followers on this blog for literally two months, have made only a few posts (and even fewer posts about things the populace would be interested in), and when it comes right down to it, I’m the biggest NOOB of them all when it comes to word press. So how do you think I reacted?

Ecstatically.

It feels so good to have people like Piezo and everyone else actually reading the things I write, and I’d like to thank EVERYONE who has ever read anything I’ve posted. Outside the internet, I don’t really have anyone who appreciates my art other than my family. At least not yet 🙂

But my excitement didn’t stop there.

3 days later, A Thought, a Word, and an Eternal Bliss nominated me for this very same award.
A lot of people would say, “Oh its just a blog. Who cares? You didn’t win a real award.”

Not so.

We bloggers are artists(but I’m so inexperienced that I barely have the right to say that!). We all thrive on our art and opinions being viewed and appreciated by somebody. ANYBODY. Because BLOGS START CONVERSATIONS PEOPLE! Intelligent conversations, across thousands of miles, with people appreciating each other’s creativity through an outlet which for some is the only outlet they have to express themselves. At least at first. Blogging gives a person confidence, and it also greatly helps their credibility when they try to send their work, be it poem, sketch, or novel, to a publication company. So for anyone who wants to succeed, blogging is an excellent starting point.
(All that being said, I’m still in no way under any delusions about my blog being great or anything. I wasn’t in a competition, and I didn’t actually win anything, but it just feels good that a couple of people enjoyed my blog)

Let me just say before I type the rules that those nominated for this award are supposed to type that it is an absolute treasure to be recognized by other bloggers, but especially by ones who are as talented and engaging as A Thought, a Word, and an Eternal Bliss and Kushal Gorti(Piezo Radeon). I love both of their blogs so much, and I strongly recommend that you check out their pages.  Now, time for me to post the rules, and then to follow those rules.

The Rules

*Write a post to show your award

*Tell your blog’s origin story – how did it start?
*Write two pieces of advice for new bloggers
*Thank whoever nominated you and share a link to their blog
*Select 15 other blogs that you want to nominate

The Domain: Origin

A little over a year ago, I started my blog for a single purpose – to have my first completed mythical novel read by as many people as possible. Well, that was the MAIN purpose, but I also had one that was far less selfish, albeit only possible if the blog ever became a major success…..to be a place where people all over the world and even in my own humble hometown could post their works of art without fear or criticism, regardless of the medium(by the way, if anyone wants their stuff posted and doesn’t have a blog yet, you can contact me and get your stuff out there through the domain). My idea was for it to be something sort of like the Community Pool, the only exception being that it would specifically be for people like myself who are horribly self conscious and terrified of sharing their thoughts and ideas with the world. Hence my blog slogan: Let’s Slay the Minotaur, One Idea at a Time. This refers to the Greek myth of the slaying of the Minotaur by Theseus, but more poignantly to my own little tweak on that myth which plays a huge part in my novel, “The First and the Last”, which when all is said and done is about nothing more than overcoming life’s many struggles. Well, to this day, that grand dream of idea sharing hasn’t yet come true. But I’m still hopeful. However, the other thing that I wanted actually did happen, surprisingly. A few noble souls have read my posts, and more specifically, chapters from my book. Let me say again that I simply cannot stress enough the amount of gratitude that I feel towards you all. Anyone who has ever even clicked the Like button honestly made my day and gave me strength. But something important to mention is that it took my blog a literal year to be read by ANYONE, at least regularly. I’ll explain more of that later under the Advice heading, but suffice it to say – perseverance. That’s the magic word. But I have learned something very important from blogging that actually overshadows my own desires for success – How to CONVERSE. I have had more conversations on wordpress than I can count, and they were all very intelligent and enjoyable. I don’t really get to talk about things that interest me face to face, because I don’t really know anyone personally who would be interested. Of course I have friends and family – but I’m a loner when it comes to my interests, hobbies, and passions. Hence, the beauty of blogging.
2 bits of advice

1. Take a genuine interest in others. This is a tried and true approach that is crucial to any successful blogger, and, at the risk of me sounding like a barren platitude, is essential to daily life as well. When I first started my blog, I was desperate for attention. I kept posting chapters from my book as well as music and movie reviews for weeks, but it was all for naught. No one even clicked any of it. Then I did what would have been obvious to me in the first place if I had possessed any common sense: I searched through tags and categories and started following people. I really just wanted to get my book read by people, but I discovered something even better. CONNECTION. I stopped fretting over my vacant blog posts and instead read the posts of others. And they were great. They were all just great. Every single person I have followed on wordpress has made at least one post that had me absolutely engaged. Poetry, artwork, books, short stories, reviews, even paragraphs about every day life – its all amazing to me. As I believe I had mentioned previously, CONVERSATIONS are the best thing about blogging. You can easily find people who share your own interests, as well as other people who may spark your interest in other things. I did this for a few weeks and, lo and behold, my blog actually grew from nothing into something. So, suffice it to say that if you take a genuine interest in other blogs and give them feedback, your own blog will inevitably prosper. And don’t just click the like button or comment without reading the actual post. I know its sometimes a temptation to just scroll through and click like a few times, but I have read through every single post that I have ever liked or commented on. You’ll find enough thoughts, ideas, and true works of art through blog posts that you’ll forget all about your own page. You’ll just wanna start some conversations 🙂

2. Community Pool. Post a comment introducing yourself and your page. Then, go through the introductions that others have posted and click on some blogs that look interesting to you. Give them some feedback, and you’ll get some in return. The pool really is a blessing. I found so many awesome people to follow through this, and my own blog almost doubled in feedback.

The Nominees

First, let me introduce the two bloggers who nominated me. The Enthralled Cloud of Thought was the first one to do it. Now I don’t wanna play favorites, but really, who else is as awesome as he is? Nah, I love so many blogs equally, but this guy really is amazing. Every word in his posts is just saturated with wit. You can tell that he’s really intelligent, creative, and has a great sense of humor. He writes all of his posts like a pro, and is just an incredibly nice person. If I knew him face to face, I’d wanna hang out with him all the time.

The second person who nominated me is A Thought, a Word, and an Eternal Bliss. She’s just as awesome and amazing and Kushal and all of my other followers. Very obviously intelligent, very gifted, and very poetic. All of her posts regarding short stories or poetry are just fascinating. She really has a way with words, and she knows exactly how and exactly where to just freakin lace stuff with metaphor. Reading her posts are very good for your imagination, for the imagery she conveys through the words is just stunning

Now, onto the fifteen nominees. This was the hardest part of this post, because all the blogs that I follow are just fantastic. It took me two days to sort through them and make some tough decisions, but if I ever do any other post that recommends people I’ll be sure to talk about everyone else. But literally every blog I follow is already very successful, so a NOOB like me recommending them might not even make much of a difference for them lol. Here are the fifteen I’ve chosen, and with the list I am also going to very briefly explain why you should check out each of their pages and follow them

1. PoeteX
Poetry with a lot of heart done beautifully and professionally. She really knows what she’s doing. A lot of it is very classical and sophisticated. I look forward to reading every new one she so skillfully writes.

2. loveletterstoaghost
Hauntingly beautiful poetry that I believe can connect with ANYONE and speak to their heart. Every single line is excellent. And I just LOVE that name.

3. The Creative Works of James Harrington
The storytelling is just fantastic. He writes exciting books detailing epic struggles between good and evil. He is also very kind and willing to give writers of any kind extremely helpful advice.

4. Relating to Humans
There are all kinds of cool posts on this author’s page, but what’s really exciting is that he is making a war movie with a very well thought out premise that speaks out against misogyny.

5. ericTknight
His book, “Watching the End of the World”, is extremely unique, thought provoking, and exciting. When I’m able to get an Amazon account, his book will be the first one I purchase.

6. Rebecca Elysium
Very dark, fantastic, and unique artwork. But it doesn’t stop there. The poetry that goes along with it is practically perfect. I’ve never come across a page quite like this one. Really engages your mind.

7. (Over)Analysing Literature
If anyone wants a site where you can talk about books, check this out. The content is great. She is quite a skillful writer, and her personality shows through very nicely. She is very well read and has some nice book reviews. Her short stories are fantastic as well.

8. La Audacia de Aquiles
I love mythology, and it was so cool to find a page like this that had such a wealth of information about it. Aquileana really knows her stuff, and she presents it all in a very thoughtful and informative way. She also speaks about a number of great philosophers, including my favorite, Friedrich Nietzche.

9.Gospel Isosceles
The main vibe I get from this blog is intelligence. Passion too. Every post is really top notch, and deals with a wide range of subjects. Awesome poetry, opinions, faith, and so much more. The whole blog is really like a big work of art.

10. Corasteel
Beautiful poetry. The cool thing about it is that it is not only well done, but also REAL. True words from a true heart. Cathartic. I’ve always said that I don’t like any art(especially music) unless it has an edge. And this page has it. Also plenty of other stuff that is just really well written.

11. Writing Dragons
Posts a picture of a dragon every day. And it’s freakin awesome. She always posts pictures of dragons done by fantastic artists, and I haven’t seen a single dud to date. Dragons(dinosaurs in my opinion) are my favorite animals. And this site DELIVERS for a dragon fan boy like me! She’s also working on her own dragon novel, which I look forward to reading.

12. Benjamin Fisher-Merritt(Author)
This blog, among other things, has a fantastic book/saga called “The Starvdale Adventures”. I read one chapter and was hooked. The fight scenes in this story are excellent, as well as the character development, the humor, and the basic story. If you like mythical fantasy, then check out this page immediately.

13. Ultimate Solace
First of all, I’m sure you all agree with me that that name is just tops. Second of all, what terrific poetry! The whole layout of the blog is just excellent, as is the wealth of fantastic, spiritual, and just simply well done poetry! You can read through a LOT of cool things here.

14. Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha
Practically everyday, a post is made that inspires myself and countless others to new heights. Overcoming struggles, breaking free from stagnation in your creativity: you can find anything here. There are also samples from his scifi book/saga, “Echo”, which I wanna buy when I get an Amazon

15. Invisible World

There’s an extremely well written book on here called “The Hashna Stone”, and I highly recommend you check it out. The story arc, characters, creatures, everything is cool. It reminds me of Tolkien in a very good way, but is still a completely original and creative work.